10 Myths About Anal Sex

Myth #1: Anal sex is unnatural and immoral.
TRUTH: Students of sociology and social change are aware of the axiom that today's deviance may well be tomorrow's norm. The present widespread approval of the practice of masturbation and oral sex is an example of a deviance of yesteryear that has changed into a norm. The definitions of what is or what isn't deviant behavior are established by various legitimate institutions, the most important being government and religion.
The anal sex taboo is well established in American culture. Prevalent in religious, legal, medical, and scientific institutions, the taboo is clearly manifested in information about health and
sexuality. The myths that follow will be familiar to most people, and they both inform and reinforce the anal sex taboo. Taboos usually defy logic, science, and experience; theygenerally have more to do with misinformation, fear, and a desire to maintain the status quo. In the case of anal sex, the taboo mirrors some fundamental elements of our society. For example, anal sex being considered dirty is linked with the cultural obsession with hygiene and cleanliness; the perceived connection between anal sex and gay men reflects deep-seated societal homophobia. Both so-called facts prevent people from experiencing anal pleasure. In Anal Pleasure and Health, Jack Morin traces the religious roots of the anal sex taboo:
In the Judeo-Christian tradition, the taboo against anal intercourse is seen as coming from God. In the Old Testament story, God completely destroys the city of Sodom, presumably as punishment for rampant sodomy among its people. Many scholars now believe that the punishment was for Sodom's violation of hospitality rules, and had little, if anything, to do with
sex. The sodomy interpretation, however, is still one generally accepted. Among believers, condemnation of anal sex is not based on any discernible principle except the desire to avoid the wrath of God. Today, the people and institutions invested in maintaining that anal sex is unnatural and immoral are often the same folks who support antigay legislation, banning sex education in schools, and sodomy laws, which make it illegal to have any
kind of sex other than procreative, heterosexual vaginal intercourse.
Myth #2: Only sluts, perverts, and weirdos have anal sex.
TRUTH: Anal sex is practiced and enjoyed by women, men, and transgender people of all kinds, from the perky girl nextdoor to the daring dominatrix in the dungeon. In fact, in today's sex surveys and self-help books, the sections on "kinky" or "deviant" sex practices—including bondage, cross-dressing, S/M, golden showers, and group sex—do not usually include anal sex. Anal sex is more often categorized with vaginal intercourse and oral sex.' The notion that anal sex is kinky, abnormal, or perverted is based on the assumption that only a few specific kinds of sex—usually heterosexual, procreative, penis-vagina intercourse—are natural, normal, and conventional.
Myth #3: The anus and rectum were never meant to be eroticized.
TRUTH: The anus and rectum are full of sensitive, responsive nerve endings, and the stimulation of these nerve endings and penetration of the rectum can be intensely pleasurable—and orgasmic—for both men and women. Furthermore, women's G-spots and perineums can be stimulated during anal sex, and men may experience stimulation of the bulb of the penis and the prostate gland through anal penetration. The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex reminds us that "the anus is rich in nerve endings and participates with our genitals in the engorgement, muscular tension and contractions of sexual arousal and orgasm."
Myth #4: Anal sex is dirty and messy.
TRUTH: As long as you practice standard hygiene, anal sex is no more messy than any other kind of sex. Feces are stored in the bowel and pass through the rectum and anal canal during a
bowel movement. Normally, there is only a very small amount of fecal matter in the anal canal and rectum. Some people like to take a shower or bath before sex to clean the anal area, but
no other extraordinary measures are necessary for anal sex. Some people have an enema before anal sex, but again, that is not necessary.
Myth #5: Only homosexual men have anal sex.
TRUTH: People of all sexual orientations and partners of all genders have anal sex. While it's true that many gay men do have anal sex, the actual statistics reveal a much smaller percentage than is widely believed: 50-60 percent have tried it and fewer than 30 percent have it regularly. Fellatio is a much more common practice among gay men.5The idea that all gay men and only gay men have anal sex—one that the Religious Right would like us to believe—is simply not supported. Furthermore, there is no evidence that any single group defined by sexual orientation has a great deal more anal sex than any other group. In fact, depending on which survey you cite, from 20 to 45 percent of women have anal sex.
Myth #6: Straight men who like anal sex are really gay.
TRUTH: Because anal sex is falsely but intrinsically linked with gay men and gay sex, there is a myth that if men want anal sex, then they must be gay. In most cases, men who identify as heterosexual and desire anal sex with women (whether they are on the giving or receiving end) are not repressing homosexual desires or tendencies. Their desire for a particular sexual activity
does not rely on or "cancel out" their sexual preference in a partner. According to research, more gay men regularly practice fellatio than anal sex, and as my friend Audrey says,
"How come no one ever asks: If a straight guy likes blow jobs, does that mean he's really gay?
Myth #7: Anal sex is always painful for the person on the receiving end.
TRUTH: With desire, relaxation, communication, trust, and lots of lubrication, anal sex can be not only pain-free but arousing and orgasmic. Anal sex does not have to be painful at all, not even a little. If it is, your body is telling you that you should stop. If you ignore your body's warnings and continue, then you can hurt yourself. The experience may make you and your anus more tense the next time you try anal penetration. Your body remembers everything, so don't try to fool it.
Myth #8: Women don't enjoy receiving anal sex; they do it just to please their partners.
TRUTH: This is a particularly insidious myth about heterosexual women. Often, when we do hear about women having anal sex, the story goes something like this: The long-term boyfriend begged and begged, and finally his girlfriend gave in to his demands. Her boyfriend was pleased, but she didn't enjoy herself one bit. We never hear stories about women who crave and enjoy anal play, women who initiate anal sex, or women who are more than happy to knock on their boyfriends' back door. Sex advice columnist Susan Crain Bakos says, "Buttfucking is seen as the ultimate male sexual fantasy. We, as a culture, don't understand how much women can like
taking it up the ass." ' And, I would add, giving it up the ass as well.
Myth #9: Anal sex is the easiest way to get AIDS.
TRUTH: Because anal and rectal tissue is delicate and easily torn, viruses can be easily transmitted through the tissue into the bloodstream; so, unprotected anal intercourse with an
infected person is a high-risk activity for both partners—statistically higher than vaginal intercourse with an infected person—for all STDs, including HIV. Unprotected oral-anal contact and digital penetration also puts both partners at risk—the receiver because of fragile rectal tissue and the giver because of cuts or sores that may be on the hands or mouth. However, anal sex does not automatically lead to AIDS. Anal sex practiced with common sense, condoms,
latex gloves, dental dams, and lube (or an HIV-negative monogamous partner) can be as safe as other sexual practices.
Myth #10: Anal sex is naughty,
TRUTH: Well, this is actually a myth and a truth. Of course, anal sex is not really bad for you and doesn't make you a bad person. However, for those of you who are turned on by the
idea that anal sex is taboo, deviant, and naughty, don't let me ruin your party. Lots of people actually incorporate the myths I've discussed—especially the "naughtiness factor"—into their
erotic anal play. I love that anal sex is taboo and that not everyone admits to doing it. The taboo of anal sex gives me a rush, as well as knowing how intense it is for my partner. I love to watch her ass pounding against me.I love the idea that I am fucking my partner in the ass.
It feels taboo and sexy all at the same time.