By: Cucan Pemo
If there is one question for which every woman wants an answer is what men want. This question crops up in the mind of every woman be it be a teenager going on her first date; a newly wedded wife getting ready for her husband to return from work; a single woman waiting to find the right man; a divorcee trying to rebuild her life.
This question has been asked by women in the past, and will be asked by women in the future too. It is a question that has no easy answers; with each relationship being completely different from another. The best one can do is to explore seven subjects that form the cornerstone of any relationship between men and women. These subjects hold the key for any woman to understand what men want.
1. Sex
What do men want in sex?
How frequent should be lovemaking?
Should it be passionate?
Should women have sex before marriage?
There is little doubt that most men are obsessed with sex. It is a biological need, and men should not be blamed for wanting sex. However, sex alone cannot build a long lasting relationship. It can bring a couple together but it cannot hold them together beyond a certain point.
What a woman must understand is that a man finds happiness and fulfillment in sex. A woman who is willing to reach out and unite in the act of lovemaking is most likely to win a man than a woman who uses sex as a manipulative tool.
Also, men are not ogres. They don't go to women looking for sex alone. Most of them don't want their partners to degrade themselves when making love to them. They would rather like all acts of lovemaking to be complete and fulfilling to both.
Men, in fact, agonize more than women if they are unable to excite their partners. This is because men can be easily aroused whereas it takes longer, and more foreplay in the case of women to get aroused.
There is little doubt that a man would like to take a woman to bed as quickly as possible. But few men want to make love if they find their partners are unwilling. Most of them don't want to hurt or injure the feelings of a woman with whom they have developed a bonding or are in the process of doing so. Also, no man would insist on sex as a prerequisite to marriage.
Yes, every man has his fantasies about sex, and would like frequent and passionate sex with the woman he loves. One-night stands, as the name suggests, are only flings, not relationships.
2. Companionship
What kind of a companion does a man want?
How should women meet those needs?
Men want women with whom they can share their likes and dislikes, their fears and triumphs, their weaknesses and strengths... They want women who can empathize with their failures and revel in their triumphs.
Women who constantly find faults with their men are unlikely to win their love and respect. Every woman must remember that men are vain by nature. They need pampering, and even mothering. At the same time they need emotional fulfillment.
This does not mean that women have to become sports enthusiasts or political analysts to please their men. They only need to provide space to their men to follow their passions.
3. Homemakers
Should women be great cooks to win acceptance?
Should women alone be expected to keep house?
Is it a woman's job to rear kids?
Today's men respect the ambitions of women. They don't want to relegate their wives to the role of a domestic help. They would like their women to do well in life. However, they would not like this to happen at the cost of their own careers.
Most women must realize that every man wants to be the main breadwinner. His male ego gets hurt if he has to depend on his wife to run the home. He would certainly expect his wife to cook for him on at least three to four days a week. He would also expect women to keep the home clean and well kept. The best that a man is willing to do is to extend a helping hand. But the woman has to be the main homemaker.
4. Emotional support
Should women give advice?
Are men open to points of view given by women?
Once again the male ego is too vain. It is not willing to listen easily to the advice given by better halves. Almost every man goes on the defensive when the woman he loves wants to correct him. He may accept the same advice from another male; but would be very reluctant to do so from a woman.
Women should therefore be careful. They should make men feel they can climb Mount Everest, if need be. They must encourage them by constantly telling them how much confidence they have in them. This will bring the best out of every man.
5. Looks matter
Should women doll up for men?
Is a woman's figure important?
How important is it to dress up especially for men?
Men love beautiful women. They don't want their woman to look dowdy. This is not only true at the time of dating but even after marriage. Women who allow their figures to slip are likely to loose the interest of their men. This may sound sexist but this is how life is. An attractive woman, who knows how to carry herself, will always turn male heads.
6. Private space
Why do men need time for themselves?
Are they hiding something?
Shouldn't they share all their thoughts with me?
The best relationships are those where women are willing to wait; where they give time to their men to unwind themselves. They should not rush into their arms the moment they come home, and expect them to unburden themselves. Instead, they should wait for the right time when the man is more ready to share his inner thoughts. Even here, it is important to be patient, and encouraging. Don't find faults with your man's thinking; the chances are that he may shut himself off. Each man needs space to sort his thoughts. A woman can help him by being encouraging and understanding.
7. Respect
Do men need more respect than women?
How should a woman behave?
Finally, both men and women need respect if the relationship is to survive. This can only happen if a woman is willing to listen to her man. Also, a woman should respect a man's interests even though they may be widely different from her. She should allow him necessary space to follow his interests which may be sports, politics or cards.
Women should learn to read between the lines if they want to earn the respect of their men.
Author Bio
Discover how you can easily bring back the Love of Your Life!
http://www.retrievealover.com
The Good News Is It Works For Both Men & Women!
More underground relationship and love tips, FREE special reports available Here.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
What Does Your Woman REALLY Want?
By: Cucan Pemo
The behavior of women is as much of a mystery to men as that of men is to women. However, one thing is certain. The women love to be wooed. They want to be pursued. They want to be courted. They want men to try and win their affection. It's a great psychological game that both men and women play. The winners enjoy it; the losers end up wondering what went wrong.
To end up as winner men need to understand what women want. Here is a list of seven qualities that every woman expects to see in their men:
1. Well groomed
Do women pay attention to the way a man is dressed?
Do women want men to open doors for them?
Just as men like their women to be pretty, women like their men to be well groomed. They expect their men to be courteous, well behaved and well mannered. Among other things, they expect them to know the social graces. They also expect them to be well dressed, and in tune with the fashion of the day. Men who are loud or bawdy are unlikely to win the attention of sensitive women. The same applies to those men who don't pay sufficient attention to the way they look.
2. Good listener
Should men do what women want?
Listen carefully to what a woman says
All women want their men to pay attention to what they are saying. Men may not agree with their thinking but they should not make the mistake of looking bored or causal. They must pay attention, even if they don't intend to do what their women want. The very fact that their point of view was considered before a decision was taken is enough to make the women happy. It is the basis of a strong relationship.
3. Good in bed
What do women want in bed?
Do women like to be forced?
How can women be made happy?
Every woman wants her man to be good in bed. They want to be aroused, and to be sexually fulfilled. The relationship has to be equal in the bed. The man must make an honest effort to fulfill the sexual needs of his women He should, however, not take advantage of a relationship. But he should respect those days when the woman wants to stay off. Women don't like to be pushed into sex unless they are in a mood to do so. They would much rather prefer being cajoled and cuddled instead of being rushed into sex.
4. Honest and sincere
Do women want to know everything about their men?
Should men tell everything to women?
Two qualities that women value in their men are honesty and sincerity. They don't want their men to cheat on them or to hold back anything from them. They would like to be equal partners in both the joys and sorrows of their men. Very often men try to hold back their problems related to work or their finances. This is not a good policy. Women feel more wanted and involved when their men take them into confidence. Men should also not try to delude women into false notions. They must gently inform them of their problems without being blunt or cruel. No woman wants to be told that she is ugly, fat or dumb. But, at the same time, they would not like their men to lie to them about their looks.
5. Stable career
How important is financial stability?
Are women after successful men?
Women want stability in their lives. They don't want to be in a situation where they are forced to scrounge for favors. They would like their men to take care of all basic necessities of life. They would therefore prefer men who are successful and well organized. However, this does not mean that they want to hook the rich and the well placed. This is a wrong notion. Money and success alone is not enough to satisfy a woman.
6. Love for surprises
Should men give lavish gifts to win the love of women?
Gifts that women cherish the most
No woman wants to be tied to home and children. She would like some excitement in her life. This is where men need to be imaginative and thoughtful. The surprises need not be big; they can be as simple as enjoying an evening at the theatre, followed by a dinner at her favorite restaurant or it can be driving down to a resort at the weekend. The joy is multiplied if these bonuses come unannounced.
7. Intelligent and witty
Are witty men more charming?
How does intelligence matter in a relationship?
Women like their men to charm them. They would like them to be intelligent and witty, who can liven up the evenings and make a room come alive. Men who are dull and boring or too obsessed with their own musings are unlikely to enchant women. Women like men who are willing to chat with them on their wavelength.
Author Bio
Discover how you can easily bring back the Love of Your Life!
http://www.retrievealover.com
The Good News Is It Works For Both Men & Women!
More underground relationship and love tips, FREE special reports available Here.
The behavior of women is as much of a mystery to men as that of men is to women. However, one thing is certain. The women love to be wooed. They want to be pursued. They want to be courted. They want men to try and win their affection. It's a great psychological game that both men and women play. The winners enjoy it; the losers end up wondering what went wrong.
To end up as winner men need to understand what women want. Here is a list of seven qualities that every woman expects to see in their men:
1. Well groomed
Do women pay attention to the way a man is dressed?
Do women want men to open doors for them?
Just as men like their women to be pretty, women like their men to be well groomed. They expect their men to be courteous, well behaved and well mannered. Among other things, they expect them to know the social graces. They also expect them to be well dressed, and in tune with the fashion of the day. Men who are loud or bawdy are unlikely to win the attention of sensitive women. The same applies to those men who don't pay sufficient attention to the way they look.
2. Good listener
Should men do what women want?
Listen carefully to what a woman says
All women want their men to pay attention to what they are saying. Men may not agree with their thinking but they should not make the mistake of looking bored or causal. They must pay attention, even if they don't intend to do what their women want. The very fact that their point of view was considered before a decision was taken is enough to make the women happy. It is the basis of a strong relationship.
3. Good in bed
What do women want in bed?
Do women like to be forced?
How can women be made happy?
Every woman wants her man to be good in bed. They want to be aroused, and to be sexually fulfilled. The relationship has to be equal in the bed. The man must make an honest effort to fulfill the sexual needs of his women He should, however, not take advantage of a relationship. But he should respect those days when the woman wants to stay off. Women don't like to be pushed into sex unless they are in a mood to do so. They would much rather prefer being cajoled and cuddled instead of being rushed into sex.
4. Honest and sincere
Do women want to know everything about their men?
Should men tell everything to women?
Two qualities that women value in their men are honesty and sincerity. They don't want their men to cheat on them or to hold back anything from them. They would like to be equal partners in both the joys and sorrows of their men. Very often men try to hold back their problems related to work or their finances. This is not a good policy. Women feel more wanted and involved when their men take them into confidence. Men should also not try to delude women into false notions. They must gently inform them of their problems without being blunt or cruel. No woman wants to be told that she is ugly, fat or dumb. But, at the same time, they would not like their men to lie to them about their looks.
5. Stable career
How important is financial stability?
Are women after successful men?
Women want stability in their lives. They don't want to be in a situation where they are forced to scrounge for favors. They would like their men to take care of all basic necessities of life. They would therefore prefer men who are successful and well organized. However, this does not mean that they want to hook the rich and the well placed. This is a wrong notion. Money and success alone is not enough to satisfy a woman.
6. Love for surprises
Should men give lavish gifts to win the love of women?
Gifts that women cherish the most
No woman wants to be tied to home and children. She would like some excitement in her life. This is where men need to be imaginative and thoughtful. The surprises need not be big; they can be as simple as enjoying an evening at the theatre, followed by a dinner at her favorite restaurant or it can be driving down to a resort at the weekend. The joy is multiplied if these bonuses come unannounced.
7. Intelligent and witty
Are witty men more charming?
How does intelligence matter in a relationship?
Women like their men to charm them. They would like them to be intelligent and witty, who can liven up the evenings and make a room come alive. Men who are dull and boring or too obsessed with their own musings are unlikely to enchant women. Women like men who are willing to chat with them on their wavelength.
Author Bio
Discover how you can easily bring back the Love of Your Life!
http://www.retrievealover.com
The Good News Is It Works For Both Men & Women!
More underground relationship and love tips, FREE special reports available Here.
Sex Positions For The Best Sex Ever!
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Thursday, June 4, 2009
Karma and Sex
The understanding and acceptance of the Eastern concept of Karma is particularly important to every person who wishes to apply the Tantric teachings in his or her life. The operation of Karma in everyday life should be constantly studied. The causes of events often seem mysterious, yet if we look carefully at the play of forces from a Karmic viewpoint, we can more easily understand the subtle workings of destiny. Although the general idea of Karma, the law of action and reaction, has been accepted in contemporary Western thought, a highly developed intuition of its precise workings is rarely found. According to the Eastern view, Karma shapes reality; the events we are currently experiencing are a direct result of our past actions, either in this life or a previous one. And our present attitudes and actions likewise determine our future. This principle is as true for the world of physics as it is for the drama of individual and collective life. According to Tantric teachings, the forces of Karma pervade the world. As already discussed
in "Shiva and Jiva," desires cling to and accompany the individual soul (the Jiva) through its various incarnations. The Jiva enjoys or suffers the fruits of our action; bound into the chains of matter by their Karma, Jivas incarnate again and again, receiving various names and identities. Finally, when all its Karma has been extinguished, The lotus posture (padmasana) is ideally suited to meditation and contemplation. By visualizing a "lotus seat" and eliminating all desires from the mind, ascendancy over the forces of destiny can be achieved.
care and consciousness that the original binding desires are transcended. Furthermore, if a person can live dynamically "in the present," past influences can be transcended. Karmic forces move through the channels of the Subtle Body and also pervade the outer world, manifesting in everyday events.
Every moment is a Karmic experience; by contemplating and correlating these moments
we can rediscover the Eternal Now within ourselves. The Brihadaranyaka Upanishad, another
early text, gives us this interesting view of Karma: "The man who practices sexual intercourse while knowing the formula of Karma and its action takes to himself the accumulated good Karma of the woman; he who makes love without knowing such a formula stands the risk of losing his accumulated good Karma to her." During love-making the vital forces of the couple blend; their individual Karmas converge and an exchange takes place that can affect their individual or
joint destinies. What actually happens depends on the degree of consciousness of the couple. If one is more aware than the other, selfishness will result in a negative Karmic exchange. On the other hand, if loving compassion dominates, a positive Karmic exchange is created. This one of the subtle purposes behind sexual initiations, a secret practice common to most mystery teachings.
A Tibetan legend tells of a famous teacher called Gandapa (or Ghantapa) who inadvertently offended the king of the country by refusing to give him an initiation. The king decided to set a trap for the Yogi, in the hope of ridiculing him publicly. Knowing that Gandapa was practicing a discipline of celibacy, he paid a prostitute a great amount of money to arrange for the Yogi's seduction. The prostitute trained her young daughter for the task and sent a message to Gandapato the effect that she was a widow and wantedto gain merit by preparing a feast for the Yogi, as was the custom. The daughter's name was Darima and she was exquisite in every way. Her mother prepared an enormous feast, which was delivered to Gandapa by male attendants accompanied by Darima, who was to serve the delicacies. When the dishes were laid out, the attendants left, according to the prostitute's instructions. Gandapa was a bit taken aback to find himself attended by such a young and beautiful virgin-girl; however, he didn't want to cause offense by making a fuss. Once his meal was finished, he told Darima to leave, but acting on instructions, she said, "It's going to rain. I'll wait awhile if you don't mind." She remained until dusk and then said, "Oh, I'm afraid of the dark. My mother promised to send an escort; I wonder when they'll come." As it got later, Gandapa told her she might as,well spend the night outside his hut and provided,her with blankets and a pillow. However,,during the night Darima pretended to be afraid of demons and kept on crying out. Gandapa then told her to come into his hut and share his sleeping space. The hut was so small that, inevitably, their bodies drew close together and intertwined. Spontaneously, Gandapa united with Darima and they made love passionately. Together they passed through the four levels of erotic ecstasy and together they traveled the path of Liberation to the very end. By her services to Gandapa, Darima cleared her own Karmic obstacles and became fully liberated. Later, when the king arrived with his retinue, instead of being able to expose Gandapa as a hypocrite, he witnessed a series of miracles that caused him to reevaluate his point of view. Thus, the subtle Karmic exchange between Darima and Gandapa brought about a total change in Darima's destiny as well as in that of the king.
This story is in fact an allegory, illustrating how a single sexual act can, in the right circumstances, alter the course of destiny. Selfish motivation should not be present during love-making, but rather a desire to benefit the loved one and attain spiritual ideals. In this way the relationship between Karma and sex is best served. Dedicate your union to the enrichment of your lover. Such an exchange happens spontaneously and naturally when two people find themselves totally and completely in love. However, a conscious awareness of the intermingling of the energies of Karma and sex will greatly assist the evolution of the couple. Promiscuous sex causes Karma to be accumulated rapidly, which can, in turn, effect changes in character totally alien to one's basic nature. Another type of negative Karmic exchange takes the form of a kind of vampirism, in which positive Karma is deliberately tapped in the partner and replaced by negative Karma. Promiscuous sex rites of black magic make use of this type of vampirism to exalt one individual at the cost of another. Such practices are, fortunately, self-limiting,
and lead to delusion and corruption. Karmic exchanges take place when the life-force moves along the central Great Axis (the Sushumna) of the Subtle Body. Generally it is the emotions that cause this movement. Tantric texts state that when a person is truly angry, the life-force commonly enters the Great Axis and a Karmic exchange with the person at whom the anger is directed invariably results. Fear can likewise force the life energy into the Great Axis and create a condition of Karmic exchange. Anger and fear are facets of a similar experience, and when these emotions are brought into role playing, Karmic exchanges take place. Sadomasochistic relationships revolve around this type of exchange; glimpses of transcendental tranquillity may be achieved through dominant/submissive role playing, but the long-term result is an unresolved Karmic imbalance that tends to manifest in self-destruction. By developing an awareness of the subtle workings of Karma in human destiny, we evolve a frame of reference for understanding the seemingly erratic events of everyday life. Far too many relationships go wrong without any recognition of the real cause. It's no use blaming oneself or the other. Rather, the couple should share and discuss their hopes and fears, observing how their intertwined Karmas mold events. By channeling their desires consciously, the couple can become masters of their own destiny. If a person is falsely accused of something, then the merit of the accuser is transferred to that person and the bad Karma of the accused goes to the accuser. One must never mistreat a guest, for the guest then takes the good Karma of the host and leaves his or her own bad Karma behind.
in "Shiva and Jiva," desires cling to and accompany the individual soul (the Jiva) through its various incarnations. The Jiva enjoys or suffers the fruits of our action; bound into the chains of matter by their Karma, Jivas incarnate again and again, receiving various names and identities. Finally, when all its Karma has been extinguished, The lotus posture (padmasana) is ideally suited to meditation and contemplation. By visualizing a "lotus seat" and eliminating all desires from the mind, ascendancy over the forces of destiny can be achieved.
Brahma the Creative
Love-posture for exchanging energy
between the couple. The woman holds a
rosary of flowers. From a Rajasthani
miniature painting of the eighteenth
century.
It is said that when a person very
eagerly awaits the command of
another, with a firm resolution that
whatever is commanded must be
carried out, then that person will,
through the intensity of eagerness
and resolution, attain a state of
inner equilibrium. Through such a
condition of mind the inhaling and
exhaling breaths enter the central
Great Axis. Then all mental
states fade away and a tranquil
consciousness emerges.
SPANDA KARIKA
Jiva is absorbed into its Source, which Sanskrit texts refer to as Parabrahma (beyond Brahma): the universal godhead. Karmas migrate, like birds, from life to life, attaching themselves to the life-force. These Karmic forces are modified by conscious action during successive lifetimes. The Prana Upanishad declares that "Whatever is thought of at the moment of death unites a person with his or her primary Prana; then the Prana unites with the soul and leads the individual into rebirth in whatever realm is suitable." We have, in previous sections, referred to the upward- and downward-moving vitalities of the body, and also introduced the concept of the upper and lower gates of our bodily temple. These are the gates through which Prana (life-force, breath) and Karma enter and leave this body; without a combination of these two, an individual would not be reincarnated. The Prana Upanishad, an early Hindu text, states: "The Prana enters the body at birth, that the desires of the mind, continuing from past lives, may be fulfilled." Personal motivations are the "desires of the mind"; usually these unconscious motivations surface at times of agony or ecstasy. Tantras explain that an individual can learn to dissolve Karma by the action of the inner fire, by sense withdrawal, by meditation and absolute inner stillness, and by participating in the same activities that create the Karma, only with suchLove-posture for exchanging energy
between the couple. The woman holds a
rosary of flowers. From a Rajasthani
miniature painting of the eighteenth
century.
It is said that when a person very
eagerly awaits the command of
another, with a firm resolution that
whatever is commanded must be
carried out, then that person will,
through the intensity of eagerness
and resolution, attain a state of
inner equilibrium. Through such a
condition of mind the inhaling and
exhaling breaths enter the central
Great Axis. Then all mental
states fade away and a tranquil
consciousness emerges.
SPANDA KARIKA
care and consciousness that the original binding desires are transcended. Furthermore, if a person can live dynamically "in the present," past influences can be transcended. Karmic forces move through the channels of the Subtle Body and also pervade the outer world, manifesting in everyday events.
Every moment is a Karmic experience; by contemplating and correlating these moments
we can rediscover the Eternal Now within ourselves. The Brihadaranyaka Upanishad, another
early text, gives us this interesting view of Karma: "The man who practices sexual intercourse while knowing the formula of Karma and its action takes to himself the accumulated good Karma of the woman; he who makes love without knowing such a formula stands the risk of losing his accumulated good Karma to her." During love-making the vital forces of the couple blend; their individual Karmas converge and an exchange takes place that can affect their individual or
joint destinies. What actually happens depends on the degree of consciousness of the couple. If one is more aware than the other, selfishness will result in a negative Karmic exchange. On the other hand, if loving compassion dominates, a positive Karmic exchange is created. This one of the subtle purposes behind sexual initiations, a secret practice common to most mystery teachings.
A Tibetan legend tells of a famous teacher called Gandapa (or Ghantapa) who inadvertently offended the king of the country by refusing to give him an initiation. The king decided to set a trap for the Yogi, in the hope of ridiculing him publicly. Knowing that Gandapa was practicing a discipline of celibacy, he paid a prostitute a great amount of money to arrange for the Yogi's seduction. The prostitute trained her young daughter for the task and sent a message to Gandapato the effect that she was a widow and wantedto gain merit by preparing a feast for the Yogi, as was the custom. The daughter's name was Darima and she was exquisite in every way. Her mother prepared an enormous feast, which was delivered to Gandapa by male attendants accompanied by Darima, who was to serve the delicacies. When the dishes were laid out, the attendants left, according to the prostitute's instructions. Gandapa was a bit taken aback to find himself attended by such a young and beautiful virgin-girl; however, he didn't want to cause offense by making a fuss. Once his meal was finished, he told Darima to leave, but acting on instructions, she said, "It's going to rain. I'll wait awhile if you don't mind." She remained until dusk and then said, "Oh, I'm afraid of the dark. My mother promised to send an escort; I wonder when they'll come." As it got later, Gandapa told her she might as,well spend the night outside his hut and provided,her with blankets and a pillow. However,,during the night Darima pretended to be afraid of demons and kept on crying out. Gandapa then told her to come into his hut and share his sleeping space. The hut was so small that, inevitably, their bodies drew close together and intertwined. Spontaneously, Gandapa united with Darima and they made love passionately. Together they passed through the four levels of erotic ecstasy and together they traveled the path of Liberation to the very end. By her services to Gandapa, Darima cleared her own Karmic obstacles and became fully liberated. Later, when the king arrived with his retinue, instead of being able to expose Gandapa as a hypocrite, he witnessed a series of miracles that caused him to reevaluate his point of view. Thus, the subtle Karmic exchange between Darima and Gandapa brought about a total change in Darima's destiny as well as in that of the king.
This story is in fact an allegory, illustrating how a single sexual act can, in the right circumstances, alter the course of destiny. Selfish motivation should not be present during love-making, but rather a desire to benefit the loved one and attain spiritual ideals. In this way the relationship between Karma and sex is best served. Dedicate your union to the enrichment of your lover. Such an exchange happens spontaneously and naturally when two people find themselves totally and completely in love. However, a conscious awareness of the intermingling of the energies of Karma and sex will greatly assist the evolution of the couple. Promiscuous sex causes Karma to be accumulated rapidly, which can, in turn, effect changes in character totally alien to one's basic nature. Another type of negative Karmic exchange takes the form of a kind of vampirism, in which positive Karma is deliberately tapped in the partner and replaced by negative Karma. Promiscuous sex rites of black magic make use of this type of vampirism to exalt one individual at the cost of another. Such practices are, fortunately, self-limiting,
and lead to delusion and corruption. Karmic exchanges take place when the life-force moves along the central Great Axis (the Sushumna) of the Subtle Body. Generally it is the emotions that cause this movement. Tantric texts state that when a person is truly angry, the life-force commonly enters the Great Axis and a Karmic exchange with the person at whom the anger is directed invariably results. Fear can likewise force the life energy into the Great Axis and create a condition of Karmic exchange. Anger and fear are facets of a similar experience, and when these emotions are brought into role playing, Karmic exchanges take place. Sadomasochistic relationships revolve around this type of exchange; glimpses of transcendental tranquillity may be achieved through dominant/submissive role playing, but the long-term result is an unresolved Karmic imbalance that tends to manifest in self-destruction. By developing an awareness of the subtle workings of Karma in human destiny, we evolve a frame of reference for understanding the seemingly erratic events of everyday life. Far too many relationships go wrong without any recognition of the real cause. It's no use blaming oneself or the other. Rather, the couple should share and discuss their hopes and fears, observing how their intertwined Karmas mold events. By channeling their desires consciously, the couple can become masters of their own destiny. If a person is falsely accused of something, then the merit of the accuser is transferred to that person and the bad Karma of the accused goes to the accuser. One must never mistreat a guest, for the guest then takes the good Karma of the host and leaves his or her own bad Karma behind.
PASHUPATA SUTRA /
SHIVA PURANA
Karma leads, Karma moves,
Karma takes, Karma follows;
Karma binds, Karma releases,
Karma gives, Karma never rests.
The intelligent Yogi watches
Karma and learns its ways; then,
through the power of spirituality,
steps aside from Karma.
VARAHI TANTRA
SHIVA PURANA
Karma leads, Karma moves,
Karma takes, Karma follows;
Karma binds, Karma releases,
Karma gives, Karma never rests.
The intelligent Yogi watches
Karma and learns its ways; then,
through the power of spirituality,
steps aside from Karma.
VARAHI TANTRA
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
What Women Want In Bed
There is one thing that all women have in common: they are all different. In fact, the same woman will be different depending on time of day, week, month, or year. However, there are some large-scale trends that you can count on. In his blog How to Drive Your Woman Wild in Bed, Graham Masterton provides the results of his informal survey of 500 American women answering the question, “What do you expect out of a man when he takes you to bed?” Memorize this. You’ll thank me for it:
1) Kissing: More important than anything. Kiss her everywhere. Kiss her as if she really, really matters. Women cannot get enough of this.
2) Talking: Be “flattering, romantic, arousing and encouraging.” As always, use the feedback principle.
3) Caressing.
4) Playing: “Tender, passionate loveplay and plenty of it”. Foreplay IS sex – prolong it, enjoy it. Ideally, do it until she’s so worked up that she starts begging.
5) Climax:No explanation necessary.Note that it is not in the top 4.
6) Oral sex
7) Good solid fucking: As one of the particularly reserved characters from the TV show Sex and the City said, complaining that her husband was ignoring her sexually, “Sometimes don’t you just wanted to be pounded hard?” I leave it to you to figure out what that means.
8) Body language: at the very least, know the difference between withdrawal and advance.
9) Afterplay: kiss, touch, talk, caress, kiss, play, kiss, hug, hold. Do NOT pass out.
10) ‘Morning glory’: the surveyed called sex in the morning both ‘romantic’ and ‘reassuring’.
1) Kissing: More important than anything. Kiss her everywhere. Kiss her as if she really, really matters. Women cannot get enough of this.
2) Talking: Be “flattering, romantic, arousing and encouraging.” As always, use the feedback principle.
3) Caressing.
4) Playing: “Tender, passionate loveplay and plenty of it”. Foreplay IS sex – prolong it, enjoy it. Ideally, do it until she’s so worked up that she starts begging.
5) Climax:No explanation necessary.Note that it is not in the top 4.
6) Oral sex
7) Good solid fucking: As one of the particularly reserved characters from the TV show Sex and the City said, complaining that her husband was ignoring her sexually, “Sometimes don’t you just wanted to be pounded hard?” I leave it to you to figure out what that means.
8) Body language: at the very least, know the difference between withdrawal and advance.
9) Afterplay: kiss, touch, talk, caress, kiss, play, kiss, hug, hold. Do NOT pass out.
10) ‘Morning glory’: the surveyed called sex in the morning both ‘romantic’ and ‘reassuring’.
The "G" Spot
The First Thing You MUST Do Is Learn Your Woman's Body!
Only then will you fully understand exactly where her "Hot Buttons" are, and how and when to push them. A man has at least two sexual focal points, the penis and the prostate gland. The woman also has two very important focal points; they are the clitoris-(located outside her body) and, at the entrance to the vagina, the famous Grafenberg or "G" spot-located inside the front wall of the vagina. Remember this, the woman’s G-Spot is NOT an easily reached area; therefore, even many women, let alone men, do not even know it exists. How tragic! But, the educated and fortunate man, who is able to strike this spot consistently with his penis during sexual intercourse, will have one helluva satisfied mate! With every mind-boggling orgasm, she will love you and your dear penis just a little bit more!
ALL RIGHT, WHERE EXACTLY IS THE G SPOT?
The Grafenberg Spot lies directly behind the pubic bone within the front wail of the vagina. You will find this fleshy slice of heaven about halfway between the back of the pubic bone and the front of the cervix, along the course of the urethra (the tube through which she urinates) and near the neck of the bladder, where it connects with the urethra. The size and exact location may vary slightly with each woman. (Imagine a small clock inside the vagina with 12 o'clock pointing towards the navel. In the majority of women, you will find the G-Spot located between 11 and 1 o'clock.) It lies deep within the vaginal wall, and firm, but controlled, pressure is often needed to reach the G-Spot in its non-stimulated state.
OKAY, HOW DOES IT WORK?
Amazing G-Spot orgasms are triggered by a brief, vigorous, application of rhythmical friction. The desired friction is usually achieved when intercourse is practiced from behind or doggy-style, especially if your penis is not, to be kind, above average size. With this sexual position, even a two-inched penis will be very, very, effective, giving the woman as much pleasure as a Joe Studd with his nine-inch schlong. When you have mastered this style, your lady will not simply have an orgasm but more likely a prolonged, ejaculatory explosion! No longer will your honey need to lie, or pretend, that she had an orgasm to protect your feelings. The evidence will be pooled on the sheets. Another great trick is to locate the G-Spot with your finger. (Click Here to see picture) The G-Spot will feel like a small bean, and when properly stimulated, may swell to the size of a dime or even as large as a quarter. Some women have large spots, just as some women have large breasts, and some men have large penises. Whatever the size, the woman will respond to its stimulation in the same way… ecstatically! As you continue stroking this area with a firm, masterful touch, she will experience twinges of contractions in her uterus, and a boatload of pleasure! As she approaches the point of orgasm, if this is her first time having one this way, she may get a ‘fullbladder" feeling. This happens because of the prolonged intensity of the orgasm. The clear, whitish fluid from her G-Spot ejaculation will be different from that achieved through clitoral stimulation.
My friend, when she achieves this state of ecstasy, be prepared…you will have a friend for life!
DISCOVERING THE G-SPOT! The best way to discover her G-Spot is through teamwork.
1. Ask her to lie on her belly, legs apart, and hips rotated slightly upwards.
2. Gently insert two fingers (palm down) and carefully explore the front wall of her vagina (which will be closest to the bed), with a firm touch. Pay close attention to her facial expressions and body language as this will indicate her pleasure or annoyance with your actions. As you get
warmer, she will move her pelvis naturally almost guiding you to her G-Spot.
3. Reach under her body and place your other hand on her abdomen, just above the pubic hairline, and apply a soft, downward pressure. This often helps to stimulate her G-Spot. (Click Here to see picture) This exercise should make you both more aware of her body. As she gets aroused with this stimulation simply move into Position #1, described below.
THE THREE BEST POSITIONS
Position #1
Guide her (gently and lovingly) on to her hands and knees, with her buttocks raised and her head down. Slowly kneel behind her and grasp her by her waist. As you penetrate her vagina in this position, now realizing where her G-Spot is, the head of your penis will hit her G-Spot automatically. Her response will be earth-shattering, allowing you both sensational enjoyments, orgasm after orgasm after orgasm!
Position #2
Guide her on to her back, raising her buttocks and lower back. As you mount her, gently bend her legs so that her knees touch her breasts. Now lovingly thump her G-Spot until she is an orgasmic mess. Watch as she shakes with orgasmic pleasure and lets the juices flow!
Position #3
Lie on your back, with your legs extended. Have your little lady straddle you, with her knees positioned outside your legs. But here’s the catch, she will be facing your feet with her back turned to you. In this unique position, your penis will easily hit her G-Spot. Very Important!! Warn her not to get too mesmerized in orgasmic pleasure so as to snap your dear penis in half. (I don’t think this is possible but even the thought of it hurts.) Okay, my friend, you are now familiar with the famous G-Spot and the power this knowledge holds. With just minimal practice you will become the man your ladies (or ladies) have always dreamed of!
Only then will you fully understand exactly where her "Hot Buttons" are, and how and when to push them. A man has at least two sexual focal points, the penis and the prostate gland. The woman also has two very important focal points; they are the clitoris-(located outside her body) and, at the entrance to the vagina, the famous Grafenberg or "G" spot-located inside the front wall of the vagina. Remember this, the woman’s G-Spot is NOT an easily reached area; therefore, even many women, let alone men, do not even know it exists. How tragic! But, the educated and fortunate man, who is able to strike this spot consistently with his penis during sexual intercourse, will have one helluva satisfied mate! With every mind-boggling orgasm, she will love you and your dear penis just a little bit more!
ALL RIGHT, WHERE EXACTLY IS THE G SPOT?
The Grafenberg Spot lies directly behind the pubic bone within the front wail of the vagina. You will find this fleshy slice of heaven about halfway between the back of the pubic bone and the front of the cervix, along the course of the urethra (the tube through which she urinates) and near the neck of the bladder, where it connects with the urethra. The size and exact location may vary slightly with each woman. (Imagine a small clock inside the vagina with 12 o'clock pointing towards the navel. In the majority of women, you will find the G-Spot located between 11 and 1 o'clock.) It lies deep within the vaginal wall, and firm, but controlled, pressure is often needed to reach the G-Spot in its non-stimulated state.
OKAY, HOW DOES IT WORK?
Amazing G-Spot orgasms are triggered by a brief, vigorous, application of rhythmical friction. The desired friction is usually achieved when intercourse is practiced from behind or doggy-style, especially if your penis is not, to be kind, above average size. With this sexual position, even a two-inched penis will be very, very, effective, giving the woman as much pleasure as a Joe Studd with his nine-inch schlong. When you have mastered this style, your lady will not simply have an orgasm but more likely a prolonged, ejaculatory explosion! No longer will your honey need to lie, or pretend, that she had an orgasm to protect your feelings. The evidence will be pooled on the sheets. Another great trick is to locate the G-Spot with your finger. (Click Here to see picture) The G-Spot will feel like a small bean, and when properly stimulated, may swell to the size of a dime or even as large as a quarter. Some women have large spots, just as some women have large breasts, and some men have large penises. Whatever the size, the woman will respond to its stimulation in the same way… ecstatically! As you continue stroking this area with a firm, masterful touch, she will experience twinges of contractions in her uterus, and a boatload of pleasure! As she approaches the point of orgasm, if this is her first time having one this way, she may get a ‘fullbladder" feeling. This happens because of the prolonged intensity of the orgasm. The clear, whitish fluid from her G-Spot ejaculation will be different from that achieved through clitoral stimulation.
My friend, when she achieves this state of ecstasy, be prepared…you will have a friend for life!
DISCOVERING THE G-SPOT! The best way to discover her G-Spot is through teamwork.
1. Ask her to lie on her belly, legs apart, and hips rotated slightly upwards.
2. Gently insert two fingers (palm down) and carefully explore the front wall of her vagina (which will be closest to the bed), with a firm touch. Pay close attention to her facial expressions and body language as this will indicate her pleasure or annoyance with your actions. As you get
warmer, she will move her pelvis naturally almost guiding you to her G-Spot.
3. Reach under her body and place your other hand on her abdomen, just above the pubic hairline, and apply a soft, downward pressure. This often helps to stimulate her G-Spot. (Click Here to see picture) This exercise should make you both more aware of her body. As she gets aroused with this stimulation simply move into Position #1, described below.
THE THREE BEST POSITIONS
Position #1
Guide her (gently and lovingly) on to her hands and knees, with her buttocks raised and her head down. Slowly kneel behind her and grasp her by her waist. As you penetrate her vagina in this position, now realizing where her G-Spot is, the head of your penis will hit her G-Spot automatically. Her response will be earth-shattering, allowing you both sensational enjoyments, orgasm after orgasm after orgasm!
Position #2
Guide her on to her back, raising her buttocks and lower back. As you mount her, gently bend her legs so that her knees touch her breasts. Now lovingly thump her G-Spot until she is an orgasmic mess. Watch as she shakes with orgasmic pleasure and lets the juices flow!
Position #3
Lie on your back, with your legs extended. Have your little lady straddle you, with her knees positioned outside your legs. But here’s the catch, she will be facing your feet with her back turned to you. In this unique position, your penis will easily hit her G-Spot. Very Important!! Warn her not to get too mesmerized in orgasmic pleasure so as to snap your dear penis in half. (I don’t think this is possible but even the thought of it hurts.) Okay, my friend, you are now familiar with the famous G-Spot and the power this knowledge holds. With just minimal practice you will become the man your ladies (or ladies) have always dreamed of!
Male Multiple Orgasm - The Secret Revealed
Male Multiple Orgasm-The Secret Revealed
What exactly is male multiple orgasm? Is it anything like a regular orgasm or is it completely different? Is it better than a regular orgasm? Is it a lot of work? Is it different from female multiple orgasm? Can any man have one? Questions, questions, questions. Your head is probably spinning from all of the questions you have at this very moment. And let us not forget the mostimportant one of all: How do you do it?
Male Multiple Orgasm: My Definition
A multiorgasmic man, quite simply, is a man who can have two or more orgasms in a row without resting. He does not experience any significant down time between his orgasms. By "down time," I mean a refractory period in between orgasms when the penis is not easily
aroused. A multiorgasmic man is able to maintain his erection, even though he has already had an orgasm, and continue making love from orgasm to orgasm. Unlike most "normal" men, a multiorgasmic man does not lose his ability to stay erect after his first orgasm. He can
continue to a second or even a third or fourth orgasm withoutresting. This is not the same as having two or more orgasms in an afternoon of lovemaking with periods of rest or breaks in between. The multiorgasmic man does not need a rest. He might want to, and he certainly can, if he or his partner wishes, but he doesn't have to stop. He is capable of continuing to make love immediately afterorgasm.
HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
There are some men, particularly young men, who are just plain lucky. These guys are naturals. Their physiology is such that they don't lose their erections after orgasm, or they regain their
erections so quickly that intercourse is barely interrupted. Men like this are "born" multiorgasmic. Maybe there was a time in your life when you were this lucky too. But chances are, those days are gone. Well, the good news is that you don't have to be lucky anymore
to be multiorgasmic. There is another way to acquire this ability, and it works regardless of your age, your experience, or your God given talents. The secret to becoming multiorgasmic is actually quite simple.
The secret, for most men who have mastered the ability, lies in learning to have a complete orgasm without ejaculating. That's right, a full, powerful orgasm-or two, or three, or more-with no ejaculation. Without ejaculation there is no refractory period-no down time. That means there is no significant loss of erection, leaving you free to continue having intercourse until you reach the point where you are ready to have an orgasm with simultaneousejaculation.
ORGASM WITHOUT EJACULATION! . . . AM I CRAZY?
Now, I know that this may not sound as simple as I say it is. There's a really good chance that at this moment it all sounds very weird, or even impossible. I realize that as far as most men are
concerned, there is no such thing as an orgasm without ejaculation. It's a package deal, like thunder and lightning, right? Wrong. This may be hard to believe, but as most sex therapists will confirm, orgasm and ejaculation in males are two separate things. Yes, they typically occur together, and yes, it feels as though they are a package deal. But the physiological reality is that they are not inseparable. It is possible to have a full orgasm without a simultaneous ejaculation, and therein lies the key to becoming multiorgasmic. Learn how to separate them, and you're on your way. I know that this news isn't mind-boggling for every man who is reading this blog right now. Many men have stumbled onto this accidentally. In fact, there may already have been an occasion or two in your life when you actually experienced the sensations of orgasm without having an ejaculation.
At the time, you may not have thought much of it, or you might have found it confusing. Most men who experience this unintentionally think that it's an accident or some strange quirk.
Many worry that something might be wrong with them, but very few men think of it as an experience worth recapturing, let alone perfecting. If you did, you probably wouldn't be reading this book right now-you'd be out there doing it. But believe me, I know hundreds of men who would gladly tell you that a nonejaculatory orgasm is an experience worth recapturing and worth perfecting. These men will also tell you that if you've never had a nonejaculatory orgasm, you need to start. And that's what you'regoing to do, with my help.
Meet James, a Multiorgasmic Man I'd like to introduce you to James, one of several multiorgasmic men you'll hear about, a man who has been practicing these techniques for almost eight years. I want you to read James's story first because his method of having multiple orgasms most closely resembles the style we focus on in this book. You may not necessarily have intercourse for the same length of time as James does, but the techniques you use will not differ significantly.
When James and his partner Sharon make love, he typically takes ten minutes or more before he has an orgasm. He starts intercourse slowly and lets his arousal build. Then the instant before he is about to ejaculate, he thrusts deeply into Sharon and squeezes the muscle that runs from the base of the penis to the area behind his testicles. This allows him to have a full orgasm-including rapid heart rate, muscle contractions, and that incredible sensation of release-without an ejaculation. James maintains his erection, continues to make love, and has two to four more orgasms this way. When he wants to stop making love, he has a final orgasm and ejaculates. James is able to do this because he has achieved good control of the pelvic muscles that spasm when a man ejaculates. James usually lets his partner's desires guide him. If Sharon wants to have intercourse for a long time, he simply delays his ejaculation until she's had all she wants. In the meantime, he may have three or four full orgasms. If Sharon wants to make it a shorter evening, James complies happily. Some nights are marathons and some nights are quickies. The important thing is, it's their decision.
Alan's Story
Alan used to have one quick orgasm when he made love and then call it a night. Today, however, Alan is a two-orgasm guy. When he is making love with his wife, Alan's first orgasm tends to come on rather quickly-within five minutes or less. But Alan has learned to contract his PC muscle at just the right moment before his climax, and this completely suppresses his ejaculation. Alan calls this first orgasm his "dry" orgasm. This is usually his most powerful orgasm, but it is just the beginning of his lovemaking. With orgasm number one out of the way, Alan "settles in" for the slow journey to orgasm number two. What Alan likes to do here is
time his second orgasm so that it occurs with, or just after, his wife's orgasm. Alan and his wife find this to be extremely gratifying for both of them. Alan's wife tends to need prolonged
intercourse before she can climax, which is why she was so enthusiastic about helping Alan learn these techniques. Alan and his wife have developed a set of nonverbal signals (winks, nods, squeezes, etc.) that help them get their timing right. When it is time for their mutual climax, Alan just relaxes all of the muscles he tensed the first time, and has a second full orgasm,
complete with ejaculation. Alan says, "The first one is for me ... The second one is for both of us."
Multiorgasmic Male: Some Variations on a Theme The exercises in this book will teach you what I believe to be the simplest, most effective way for a man to become multiorgasmic. But that's just the beginning. Once you have mastered these techniques, you may go on to develop your own unique style. In the many years I have worked with men, I have seen all kinds of interesting variations on the theme of multiple orgasm. For example, while most men achieve multiple orgasms by delaying ejaculation some are able to have partial or even complete ejaculations without losing their erections. While most men spread out their orgasms through a prolonged session of lovemaking, some men experience all of their orgasms in rapid-fire succession. There is no predicting what you will be capable of or what will feel best to you. Your body is unique, and it will respond in a unique way. Maybe you will develop some variation I have yet to see. Wouldn't that be great? Drop me a line if you do, because I'm always interested in hearing about new things. I want to introduce you to two other multiorgasmic men whose styles are quite different from James and Alan's so that you can get a sense of the many possibilities that lie ahead. As you read their stories, remember that as different as these styles may seem, all four men started their multiorgasmic "careers" with the same basic techniques.
Bob Can Ejaculate More Than Once Without Losing His Erection. Bob has a very different way of reaching multiple orgasms. When Bob makes love to his wife he tends to begin by thrusting very
vigorously and often ejaculates within about five minutes. However, after ejaculating, he has learned to maintain both his erection and his arousal, and he continues to thrust slowly. Within minutes he is able to have another complete ejaculation and orgasm, as strong as the first. If he chooses, he can continue making love in this fashion, having as many as five or six orgasms and ejaculations within an hour. Bob's ability to extend his lovemaking in this fashion gives his wife Janice the extra time she needs to reach her own peak. This is something she was unable to do with Bob before he developed this ability. Janice and Bob used to compensate for their incompatibility with oral sex or manual manipulation, but Janice always felt somewhat disappointed that she was unable to reach her orgasm through straight intercourse. Today, Janice is a very satisfiedwoman. Bob's style of multiple orgasm is called multiejaculation, and it is a more advanced and difficult technique to master than James's. What Bob has learned to do is shorten his refractory period, thereby shortening the length of time it takes him to become aroused again after he has ejaculated.
John's Pattern Resembles Many Women's Experience
When making love, John usually thrusts for approximately ten or fifteen minutes until he has a very strong orgasm with a partial ejaculation. After this, his penis becomes even more sensitive,
adding to his pleasure. His erection does not dissipate and he continues to thrust vigorously. Then, within a short period of time, he experiences a series of smaller orgasms, almost like aftershocks. John's experience is most similar to a type of multiple orgasm many women experience. This style of multiple orgasm is not uncommon for multiorgasmic men. I have heard many stories of men who developed this technique on their own by actually mimicking the
breathing patterns and muscle movements of multiorgasmic women. The interesting thing about John is that he no longer has to try to make any of this happen. He has conditioned his body so well that this aftershock response is now completely automatic, happening every time he has an orgasm.
Four "A" Students
James, Bob, John, and Alan are all multiorgasmic men, although, as you can see, the experience of having multiple orgasms is somewhat different for each of them. But James, Bob, John, and Alan have something else in common. None of them were naturally multiorgasmic. All of them learned to have multiple orgasms by using the exact same techniques presented in this blog. These four men have still one more thing in common: James, Alan, Bob, and John were all my "students." I saw each one move from being a single-orgasmic beginner to a multiorgasmic graduate. I am proud of them all, and they are all proud of themselves. When a man turns to a sex therapist for help, his sexual functioning is usually a source of great distress. These four men were all struggling when I met them for the first time, and look at what they can do now. Just imagine the possibilities that lie ahead for a man like you who may already be fairly comfortable with his ability to perform.
"I Want to Believe This, But I sense that you are very close to becoming a believer. Once
you know the secret formula for male multiple orgasms, it all begins to make perfect sense, doesn't it? But I wouldn't be surprised if you're wondering right now how something so extraordinary and so simple could go unnoticed for so long. After all, the sexual revolution ended years ago. How could we have missed a phenomenon like male multiple orgasm? If such a thing is as easy for any man to achieve as I say it is, why isn't every guy in America doing it? And
why aren't you doing it right now? These are really important questions. And I have some surprising answers:
FACT: Male multiple orgasm is nothing new. Eastern cultures, for example, have been aware of male multiple orgasm and nonejaculatory orgasm (NEO) for many years, and it is not difficult to find references to it in their tantric literature and historical literature. High up on mountaintops in faraway lands, both men and women have been having a good old time for a long, long time.
FACT: Male multiple orgasm is well documented in professional publications. Knowledge of this phenomenon has not been restricted to a handful of enlightened souls living on distant shores.
References to male multiple orgasm, some dating back as far as the 1930s, can be found in numerous books and journal articles available at most college libraries right here in the good old United States.
A Quick History Lesson
The earliest news of the existence of male multiple orgasm was not well received in this country. Quite the contrary, when it was first mentioned in the scientific literature in the 1930s and early 1940s, it was viewed as dysfunctional, or even pathological. In other words, most professionals believed that it only happened to a man if there was something wrong with his equipment. Given the prevailing attitude at the time, it is no wonder that the whole thing got very little attention. Then, in 1948, Alfred Kinsey's groundbreaking book, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, was published. In the book, Kinsey clearly noted that several of the "normal" men he studied reported having more than one ejaculation with the same erection. Others reported experiencing the sensations of orgasm without ejaculation, and some reported more than one climax with each act of intercourse. Now you would think that news like this would have spread like wildfire, but it didn't. Although the professional community became more accepting of the concept, the standard belief was that "either you have it or you don't." In other words, men didn't become multiorgasmic: either they were born that way or they weren't born that way. And that was that. It wasn't until the 1970s that professionals began to consider a third possibility: that male multiple orgasm could actually be learned. That's when the real fun started. Ever since then, many open-minded sex therapists, myself and my colleagues included, have been working long and hard (no jokes please) to develop and refine a number of valid techniques that any man could learn. Though we all like to argue about whose methods are best, there is one thing we all agree on: it can bedone. Well, that ends our little history lesson. It's the nineties and you're a lucky guy. Today, all of the necessary techniques exist for men to become multiorgasmic. All you need to do now is the work. If you want to learn more about the evolution of this exciting and important discovery
"Are You Sure There Isn't a Catch?"
If you're not a multiorgasmic male, you might be inclined to think that a nonejaculatory orgasm wouldn't feel all that fabulous that it might be a bit feeble, relatively speaking. I can understand
why it's probably hard to imagine that an orgasm without an ejaculation could possibly feel as intense as the old reliable orgasm/ ejaculation combo. But have I got a surprise for you. More
than half the men I have spoken to report that their nonejaculatory orgasms are more powerful than any traditional orgasm they ever had. That's right . . . not just as good as a traditional orgasm . . . better! When you hear these men explain their experiences, it begins to make sense. Look, for example, at what these four men have to say:
The nonejaculatory orgasm is actually more intense in some ways because you are planning it, leading up to it, and you know it is going to happen. In my "previous sex life," even though every orgasm had an ejaculation with it, sometimes the orgasm was not very strong because I wasn't totally expecting it Or I was actually trying to hold it back so it got sort of muffled. Sometimes I would actually have an ejaculation without an orgasm. That was very unpleasant.
Frank, age 58
With the buildup I need to have more than one orgasm, the crown of my penis gets extremely sensitive and tingly. If I stretch it out long enough, my first orgasm feels like the top of my head is blowing off.
Thomas, age 41
I don't have multiple orgasms or nonejaculatory orgasms every time I have sex. Sometimes I have sex just as a release or a way to be close with my partner before I fall asleep. But I have sex with nonejaculatory orgasms when I really want to take some time and have an intense experience.
Edward, age 27
When I first heard about this I thought there is no way that having an orgasm without an ejaculation could feel the same. I thought it would feel disappointing, or like I'd missed something. But it's not like that at all. Now I am really feeling what is happening during orgasm. Before, it would happen so fast that I wasn't even aware of what I was feeling.
Justin, age 33
Are you feeling a little more convinced? I have heard comments like these over and over and over again. I'm not surprised anymore, but I'm always impressed. I bet you're impressed too, but I bet you're also getting anxious. We can talk and talk and talk about the wonders of male multiple orgasm, but there comes a time when you've got to get down to business. Every day, more and more men are becoming multiorgasmic, and I think it's time you had your chance.
What exactly is male multiple orgasm? Is it anything like a regular orgasm or is it completely different? Is it better than a regular orgasm? Is it a lot of work? Is it different from female multiple orgasm? Can any man have one? Questions, questions, questions. Your head is probably spinning from all of the questions you have at this very moment. And let us not forget the mostimportant one of all: How do you do it?
Male Multiple Orgasm: My Definition
A multiorgasmic man, quite simply, is a man who can have two or more orgasms in a row without resting. He does not experience any significant down time between his orgasms. By "down time," I mean a refractory period in between orgasms when the penis is not easily
aroused. A multiorgasmic man is able to maintain his erection, even though he has already had an orgasm, and continue making love from orgasm to orgasm. Unlike most "normal" men, a multiorgasmic man does not lose his ability to stay erect after his first orgasm. He can
continue to a second or even a third or fourth orgasm withoutresting. This is not the same as having two or more orgasms in an afternoon of lovemaking with periods of rest or breaks in between. The multiorgasmic man does not need a rest. He might want to, and he certainly can, if he or his partner wishes, but he doesn't have to stop. He is capable of continuing to make love immediately afterorgasm.
HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
There are some men, particularly young men, who are just plain lucky. These guys are naturals. Their physiology is such that they don't lose their erections after orgasm, or they regain their
erections so quickly that intercourse is barely interrupted. Men like this are "born" multiorgasmic. Maybe there was a time in your life when you were this lucky too. But chances are, those days are gone. Well, the good news is that you don't have to be lucky anymore
to be multiorgasmic. There is another way to acquire this ability, and it works regardless of your age, your experience, or your God given talents. The secret to becoming multiorgasmic is actually quite simple.
The secret, for most men who have mastered the ability, lies in learning to have a complete orgasm without ejaculating. That's right, a full, powerful orgasm-or two, or three, or more-with no ejaculation. Without ejaculation there is no refractory period-no down time. That means there is no significant loss of erection, leaving you free to continue having intercourse until you reach the point where you are ready to have an orgasm with simultaneousejaculation.
ORGASM WITHOUT EJACULATION! . . . AM I CRAZY?
Now, I know that this may not sound as simple as I say it is. There's a really good chance that at this moment it all sounds very weird, or even impossible. I realize that as far as most men are
concerned, there is no such thing as an orgasm without ejaculation. It's a package deal, like thunder and lightning, right? Wrong. This may be hard to believe, but as most sex therapists will confirm, orgasm and ejaculation in males are two separate things. Yes, they typically occur together, and yes, it feels as though they are a package deal. But the physiological reality is that they are not inseparable. It is possible to have a full orgasm without a simultaneous ejaculation, and therein lies the key to becoming multiorgasmic. Learn how to separate them, and you're on your way. I know that this news isn't mind-boggling for every man who is reading this blog right now. Many men have stumbled onto this accidentally. In fact, there may already have been an occasion or two in your life when you actually experienced the sensations of orgasm without having an ejaculation.
At the time, you may not have thought much of it, or you might have found it confusing. Most men who experience this unintentionally think that it's an accident or some strange quirk.
Many worry that something might be wrong with them, but very few men think of it as an experience worth recapturing, let alone perfecting. If you did, you probably wouldn't be reading this book right now-you'd be out there doing it. But believe me, I know hundreds of men who would gladly tell you that a nonejaculatory orgasm is an experience worth recapturing and worth perfecting. These men will also tell you that if you've never had a nonejaculatory orgasm, you need to start. And that's what you'regoing to do, with my help.
Meet James, a Multiorgasmic Man I'd like to introduce you to James, one of several multiorgasmic men you'll hear about, a man who has been practicing these techniques for almost eight years. I want you to read James's story first because his method of having multiple orgasms most closely resembles the style we focus on in this book. You may not necessarily have intercourse for the same length of time as James does, but the techniques you use will not differ significantly.
When James and his partner Sharon make love, he typically takes ten minutes or more before he has an orgasm. He starts intercourse slowly and lets his arousal build. Then the instant before he is about to ejaculate, he thrusts deeply into Sharon and squeezes the muscle that runs from the base of the penis to the area behind his testicles. This allows him to have a full orgasm-including rapid heart rate, muscle contractions, and that incredible sensation of release-without an ejaculation. James maintains his erection, continues to make love, and has two to four more orgasms this way. When he wants to stop making love, he has a final orgasm and ejaculates. James is able to do this because he has achieved good control of the pelvic muscles that spasm when a man ejaculates. James usually lets his partner's desires guide him. If Sharon wants to have intercourse for a long time, he simply delays his ejaculation until she's had all she wants. In the meantime, he may have three or four full orgasms. If Sharon wants to make it a shorter evening, James complies happily. Some nights are marathons and some nights are quickies. The important thing is, it's their decision.
Alan's Story
Alan used to have one quick orgasm when he made love and then call it a night. Today, however, Alan is a two-orgasm guy. When he is making love with his wife, Alan's first orgasm tends to come on rather quickly-within five minutes or less. But Alan has learned to contract his PC muscle at just the right moment before his climax, and this completely suppresses his ejaculation. Alan calls this first orgasm his "dry" orgasm. This is usually his most powerful orgasm, but it is just the beginning of his lovemaking. With orgasm number one out of the way, Alan "settles in" for the slow journey to orgasm number two. What Alan likes to do here is
time his second orgasm so that it occurs with, or just after, his wife's orgasm. Alan and his wife find this to be extremely gratifying for both of them. Alan's wife tends to need prolonged
intercourse before she can climax, which is why she was so enthusiastic about helping Alan learn these techniques. Alan and his wife have developed a set of nonverbal signals (winks, nods, squeezes, etc.) that help them get their timing right. When it is time for their mutual climax, Alan just relaxes all of the muscles he tensed the first time, and has a second full orgasm,
complete with ejaculation. Alan says, "The first one is for me ... The second one is for both of us."
Multiorgasmic Male: Some Variations on a Theme The exercises in this book will teach you what I believe to be the simplest, most effective way for a man to become multiorgasmic. But that's just the beginning. Once you have mastered these techniques, you may go on to develop your own unique style. In the many years I have worked with men, I have seen all kinds of interesting variations on the theme of multiple orgasm. For example, while most men achieve multiple orgasms by delaying ejaculation some are able to have partial or even complete ejaculations without losing their erections. While most men spread out their orgasms through a prolonged session of lovemaking, some men experience all of their orgasms in rapid-fire succession. There is no predicting what you will be capable of or what will feel best to you. Your body is unique, and it will respond in a unique way. Maybe you will develop some variation I have yet to see. Wouldn't that be great? Drop me a line if you do, because I'm always interested in hearing about new things. I want to introduce you to two other multiorgasmic men whose styles are quite different from James and Alan's so that you can get a sense of the many possibilities that lie ahead. As you read their stories, remember that as different as these styles may seem, all four men started their multiorgasmic "careers" with the same basic techniques.
Bob Can Ejaculate More Than Once Without Losing His Erection. Bob has a very different way of reaching multiple orgasms. When Bob makes love to his wife he tends to begin by thrusting very
vigorously and often ejaculates within about five minutes. However, after ejaculating, he has learned to maintain both his erection and his arousal, and he continues to thrust slowly. Within minutes he is able to have another complete ejaculation and orgasm, as strong as the first. If he chooses, he can continue making love in this fashion, having as many as five or six orgasms and ejaculations within an hour. Bob's ability to extend his lovemaking in this fashion gives his wife Janice the extra time she needs to reach her own peak. This is something she was unable to do with Bob before he developed this ability. Janice and Bob used to compensate for their incompatibility with oral sex or manual manipulation, but Janice always felt somewhat disappointed that she was unable to reach her orgasm through straight intercourse. Today, Janice is a very satisfiedwoman. Bob's style of multiple orgasm is called multiejaculation, and it is a more advanced and difficult technique to master than James's. What Bob has learned to do is shorten his refractory period, thereby shortening the length of time it takes him to become aroused again after he has ejaculated.
John's Pattern Resembles Many Women's Experience
When making love, John usually thrusts for approximately ten or fifteen minutes until he has a very strong orgasm with a partial ejaculation. After this, his penis becomes even more sensitive,
adding to his pleasure. His erection does not dissipate and he continues to thrust vigorously. Then, within a short period of time, he experiences a series of smaller orgasms, almost like aftershocks. John's experience is most similar to a type of multiple orgasm many women experience. This style of multiple orgasm is not uncommon for multiorgasmic men. I have heard many stories of men who developed this technique on their own by actually mimicking the
breathing patterns and muscle movements of multiorgasmic women. The interesting thing about John is that he no longer has to try to make any of this happen. He has conditioned his body so well that this aftershock response is now completely automatic, happening every time he has an orgasm.
Four "A" Students
James, Bob, John, and Alan are all multiorgasmic men, although, as you can see, the experience of having multiple orgasms is somewhat different for each of them. But James, Bob, John, and Alan have something else in common. None of them were naturally multiorgasmic. All of them learned to have multiple orgasms by using the exact same techniques presented in this blog. These four men have still one more thing in common: James, Alan, Bob, and John were all my "students." I saw each one move from being a single-orgasmic beginner to a multiorgasmic graduate. I am proud of them all, and they are all proud of themselves. When a man turns to a sex therapist for help, his sexual functioning is usually a source of great distress. These four men were all struggling when I met them for the first time, and look at what they can do now. Just imagine the possibilities that lie ahead for a man like you who may already be fairly comfortable with his ability to perform.
"I Want to Believe This, But I sense that you are very close to becoming a believer. Once
you know the secret formula for male multiple orgasms, it all begins to make perfect sense, doesn't it? But I wouldn't be surprised if you're wondering right now how something so extraordinary and so simple could go unnoticed for so long. After all, the sexual revolution ended years ago. How could we have missed a phenomenon like male multiple orgasm? If such a thing is as easy for any man to achieve as I say it is, why isn't every guy in America doing it? And
why aren't you doing it right now? These are really important questions. And I have some surprising answers:
FACT: Male multiple orgasm is nothing new. Eastern cultures, for example, have been aware of male multiple orgasm and nonejaculatory orgasm (NEO) for many years, and it is not difficult to find references to it in their tantric literature and historical literature. High up on mountaintops in faraway lands, both men and women have been having a good old time for a long, long time.
FACT: Male multiple orgasm is well documented in professional publications. Knowledge of this phenomenon has not been restricted to a handful of enlightened souls living on distant shores.
References to male multiple orgasm, some dating back as far as the 1930s, can be found in numerous books and journal articles available at most college libraries right here in the good old United States.
A Quick History Lesson
The earliest news of the existence of male multiple orgasm was not well received in this country. Quite the contrary, when it was first mentioned in the scientific literature in the 1930s and early 1940s, it was viewed as dysfunctional, or even pathological. In other words, most professionals believed that it only happened to a man if there was something wrong with his equipment. Given the prevailing attitude at the time, it is no wonder that the whole thing got very little attention. Then, in 1948, Alfred Kinsey's groundbreaking book, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, was published. In the book, Kinsey clearly noted that several of the "normal" men he studied reported having more than one ejaculation with the same erection. Others reported experiencing the sensations of orgasm without ejaculation, and some reported more than one climax with each act of intercourse. Now you would think that news like this would have spread like wildfire, but it didn't. Although the professional community became more accepting of the concept, the standard belief was that "either you have it or you don't." In other words, men didn't become multiorgasmic: either they were born that way or they weren't born that way. And that was that. It wasn't until the 1970s that professionals began to consider a third possibility: that male multiple orgasm could actually be learned. That's when the real fun started. Ever since then, many open-minded sex therapists, myself and my colleagues included, have been working long and hard (no jokes please) to develop and refine a number of valid techniques that any man could learn. Though we all like to argue about whose methods are best, there is one thing we all agree on: it can bedone. Well, that ends our little history lesson. It's the nineties and you're a lucky guy. Today, all of the necessary techniques exist for men to become multiorgasmic. All you need to do now is the work. If you want to learn more about the evolution of this exciting and important discovery
"Are You Sure There Isn't a Catch?"
If you're not a multiorgasmic male, you might be inclined to think that a nonejaculatory orgasm wouldn't feel all that fabulous that it might be a bit feeble, relatively speaking. I can understand
why it's probably hard to imagine that an orgasm without an ejaculation could possibly feel as intense as the old reliable orgasm/ ejaculation combo. But have I got a surprise for you. More
than half the men I have spoken to report that their nonejaculatory orgasms are more powerful than any traditional orgasm they ever had. That's right . . . not just as good as a traditional orgasm . . . better! When you hear these men explain their experiences, it begins to make sense. Look, for example, at what these four men have to say:
The nonejaculatory orgasm is actually more intense in some ways because you are planning it, leading up to it, and you know it is going to happen. In my "previous sex life," even though every orgasm had an ejaculation with it, sometimes the orgasm was not very strong because I wasn't totally expecting it Or I was actually trying to hold it back so it got sort of muffled. Sometimes I would actually have an ejaculation without an orgasm. That was very unpleasant.
Frank, age 58
With the buildup I need to have more than one orgasm, the crown of my penis gets extremely sensitive and tingly. If I stretch it out long enough, my first orgasm feels like the top of my head is blowing off.
Thomas, age 41
I don't have multiple orgasms or nonejaculatory orgasms every time I have sex. Sometimes I have sex just as a release or a way to be close with my partner before I fall asleep. But I have sex with nonejaculatory orgasms when I really want to take some time and have an intense experience.
Edward, age 27
When I first heard about this I thought there is no way that having an orgasm without an ejaculation could feel the same. I thought it would feel disappointing, or like I'd missed something. But it's not like that at all. Now I am really feeling what is happening during orgasm. Before, it would happen so fast that I wasn't even aware of what I was feeling.
Justin, age 33
Are you feeling a little more convinced? I have heard comments like these over and over and over again. I'm not surprised anymore, but I'm always impressed. I bet you're impressed too, but I bet you're also getting anxious. We can talk and talk and talk about the wonders of male multiple orgasm, but there comes a time when you've got to get down to business. Every day, more and more men are becoming multiorgasmic, and I think it's time you had your chance.
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